Me, going to watch it again (again). Watched it as a kid and loved it. Watched it again in my twenties? and I think I found it a lot sadder than I recalled. But it sounds like I should really watch it again, again. This was not the direction I thought you were heading - as a kid it didn’t occur to me there was anything odd about two people married to two other people meeting up every year because my dad was always meeting up with other people 😬I thought that’s where you were heading.
There are so many ways to go with regard to this movie. I feel like I could write 5 different essays about it. I'm surprised at how sad I felt this go around. It has everything to do with middle age. The clarity. Sand through the hour glass.
I have always loved this movie; to me, it’s a profound rejection of the narrow emotional lens through which we view love and marriage. The movie knows that loving one’s spouse doesn’t mean you can’t have an equally strong connection with someone else, perhaps especially because you’re not seeing them every day. It’s a beautiful movie, wise and generous and with a deep understanding of romantic love. There is no villain, no blame; just a wonderfully humane look at a very special relationship.
The director, Robert Mulligan (who also directed “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”), did another lovely romance you might enjoy, “Summer of ‘42.” It’s also one of my favorites.
Summer of 42. Loved that film, which I watched in the summer of 72, as a high school senior, as old as the boy in the film. I want to see it again and I hope it holds up. It's always dangerous to watch favourite films from the past.
I know I watched it a few times in my own childhood, as well. And it shows up in my head sometimes the way any movie from my childhood might. And then I think, how weird that I saw this movie about adultery as a child and liked it. Like, comforted by it, perhaps. Maybe it was just Alan Alda. He's a comforting presence for us Gen Xers, I think. Anyway, I should revisit it. Fucking world. Fucking humanity.
The characters are super sympathetic. Alan Alda is neurotic and goofy and Ellen Burstyn is full of pathos. It feels good to be with them. And we watched all kinds of crazy stuff as 70s/80s kids and no one batted an eye.
We sure did! Especially when my parents were out for the evening. I watched so many dirty movies on Showtime and Cinemax. Terrible and stupid dirty movies. Or weird European horror.
It is a great movie! If you ever get a chance to see the play/theatre version, do!!! There's something about seeing it in person that really hits home, too. Thank you for reminding me of it!
This wonderful post arrived as I was returning to Amsterdam from Denver last week -- as Winnie & I were closing up our life there. It has taken me this long to dig out and write to say: I had thought I was the only one who still remembered and felt fondly about this movie. So to find a fellow traveler in you is a true delight. (Indeed, I was so taken by the movie when I first saw it in the theatre that several decades ago a lovely friend and I were inspired to begin just such an annual assignation (since ended, let me hasten to add) -- but that's another story for another time!)
There are a few movies like that that stand out as perhaps not the most age appropriate but startlingly memorable for precocious, smart girls. That’s certainly one. I think of Summer of 42 and what an impact their relationship made.
This is one of a handful of movies that I watched more than once. I remember getting so excited to see where they both were mentally when they returned to each other. One of my favorites was when she showed up pregnant. And they would continue to talk about their kids lives and what each was doing at the time. It was so well done. Thanks for bringing back the memories.
I love the pregnant rendezvous year. It’s so funny how out of sync they were with each other (especially during the political years) but still came together.
Like you, I saw this movie first as a young child, and have watched it so many times since then I practically know it by heart. I love everything about it - the music, of course; the acting, the costumes, the belly laughs (when he walked into the closet instead of out the door, and his wife laughed so hard she peed on the Oriental carpet), the ugly cries (when he says his son died). I love the moral ambiguity of rooting for a couple of cheaters - and how unambiguously romantic the story is, in the end. And now I think I'm going to have to watch it again tonight. ❤️
I have a very scientific theory that children who eavesdrop and remember everything somehow know that their parent is going to get dementia, and that they will need to be the memory keeper.
Ok fine! My other very scientific theory is that we eavesdropped because we wanted all the scoop, getting ready for careers in journalism. Now that’s funny.
Ok. I was worried you were going to destroy a film that I adored, and that the reason would be because it's now politically suspect. I made the mistake of watching Trading Places the other day and it appalled me and especially my twenty-something kids. But this is something different, so you've surprised me in a pleasant way, but now I also feel the pain you describe. Thanks, I guess.
My mum loved this first - she's a huge Alan Alda fan - but I spent ages tracking it down for her on DVD a few years back, watched it and I love it too. The connection, the respect for each other, is what I love, even though I really hate cheaters, it never feels as sordid as it sounds. And it's funny, which helps.
Now you need to write an essay about The Jazz Singer because I watched that one a million times when I was a kid because it was one of the three movies that was playing on cable. Remember when cable came out & everyone was so excited but they would play the same movie 100 times in a month and our tuned out, Boomer parents let us watch wildly inappropriate movies for our age?
Me, going to watch it again (again). Watched it as a kid and loved it. Watched it again in my twenties? and I think I found it a lot sadder than I recalled. But it sounds like I should really watch it again, again. This was not the direction I thought you were heading - as a kid it didn’t occur to me there was anything odd about two people married to two other people meeting up every year because my dad was always meeting up with other people 😬I thought that’s where you were heading.
There are so many ways to go with regard to this movie. I feel like I could write 5 different essays about it. I'm surprised at how sad I felt this go around. It has everything to do with middle age. The clarity. Sand through the hour glass.
I have always loved this movie; to me, it’s a profound rejection of the narrow emotional lens through which we view love and marriage. The movie knows that loving one’s spouse doesn’t mean you can’t have an equally strong connection with someone else, perhaps especially because you’re not seeing them every day. It’s a beautiful movie, wise and generous and with a deep understanding of romantic love. There is no villain, no blame; just a wonderfully humane look at a very special relationship.
The director, Robert Mulligan (who also directed “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”), did another lovely romance you might enjoy, “Summer of ‘42.” It’s also one of my favorites.
Summer of '42 the book is well worth the read
Summer of 42. Loved that film, which I watched in the summer of 72, as a high school senior, as old as the boy in the film. I want to see it again and I hope it holds up. It's always dangerous to watch favourite films from the past.
Milo’s Forman directed “Cucoos Nest”
Sorry, was half asleep when I posted. Meant to say “To Kill a Mockingbird” of course. Mixed up my avians!
I would love to watch this movie after your vivid descriptions
I don’t know if you’d like it as much as I do, but I love it.
I know I watched it a few times in my own childhood, as well. And it shows up in my head sometimes the way any movie from my childhood might. And then I think, how weird that I saw this movie about adultery as a child and liked it. Like, comforted by it, perhaps. Maybe it was just Alan Alda. He's a comforting presence for us Gen Xers, I think. Anyway, I should revisit it. Fucking world. Fucking humanity.
The characters are super sympathetic. Alan Alda is neurotic and goofy and Ellen Burstyn is full of pathos. It feels good to be with them. And we watched all kinds of crazy stuff as 70s/80s kids and no one batted an eye.
We sure did! Especially when my parents were out for the evening. I watched so many dirty movies on Showtime and Cinemax. Terrible and stupid dirty movies. Or weird European horror.
😂
It is a great movie! If you ever get a chance to see the play/theatre version, do!!! There's something about seeing it in person that really hits home, too. Thank you for reminding me of it!
It’s a play? When was it written? Sounds a little similar to Plaza Suite
It was originally written as a play, but then made into a movie.
This wonderful post arrived as I was returning to Amsterdam from Denver last week -- as Winnie & I were closing up our life there. It has taken me this long to dig out and write to say: I had thought I was the only one who still remembered and felt fondly about this movie. So to find a fellow traveler in you is a true delight. (Indeed, I was so taken by the movie when I first saw it in the theatre that several decades ago a lovely friend and I were inspired to begin just such an annual assignation (since ended, let me hasten to add) -- but that's another story for another time!)
Ted! Love hearing from you here. Looking forward to hearing the story of you and your lovely friend annual rendezvous.
There are a few movies like that that stand out as perhaps not the most age appropriate but startlingly memorable for precocious, smart girls. That’s certainly one. I think of Summer of 42 and what an impact their relationship made.
This is one of a handful of movies that I watched more than once. I remember getting so excited to see where they both were mentally when they returned to each other. One of my favorites was when she showed up pregnant. And they would continue to talk about their kids lives and what each was doing at the time. It was so well done. Thanks for bringing back the memories.
I love the pregnant rendezvous year. It’s so funny how out of sync they were with each other (especially during the political years) but still came together.
Like you, I saw this movie first as a young child, and have watched it so many times since then I practically know it by heart. I love everything about it - the music, of course; the acting, the costumes, the belly laughs (when he walked into the closet instead of out the door, and his wife laughed so hard she peed on the Oriental carpet), the ugly cries (when he says his son died). I love the moral ambiguity of rooting for a couple of cheaters - and how unambiguously romantic the story is, in the end. And now I think I'm going to have to watch it again tonight. ❤️
I have a very scientific theory that children who eavesdrop and remember everything somehow know that their parent is going to get dementia, and that they will need to be the memory keeper.
Stacey!!!! Do not make me cry, I am wearing eye makeup and it’s not raining in Amsterdam today.
Ok fine! My other very scientific theory is that we eavesdropped because we wanted all the scoop, getting ready for careers in journalism. Now that’s funny.
Both are true.
Ok. I was worried you were going to destroy a film that I adored, and that the reason would be because it's now politically suspect. I made the mistake of watching Trading Places the other day and it appalled me and especially my twenty-something kids. But this is something different, so you've surprised me in a pleasant way, but now I also feel the pain you describe. Thanks, I guess.
lol you are welcome.
My mum loved this first - she's a huge Alan Alda fan - but I spent ages tracking it down for her on DVD a few years back, watched it and I love it too. The connection, the respect for each other, is what I love, even though I really hate cheaters, it never feels as sordid as it sounds. And it's funny, which helps.
I watched this movie as a kid too, and I need to see it again.
Now you need to write an essay about The Jazz Singer because I watched that one a million times when I was a kid because it was one of the three movies that was playing on cable. Remember when cable came out & everyone was so excited but they would play the same movie 100 times in a month and our tuned out, Boomer parents let us watch wildly inappropriate movies for our age?
I wrote one for the Atlantic! I like the original version that was published but then a tone deaf boob of an editor was assigned the job of reworking pieces and it got hacked to bits and now I don’t like it but here it is. https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/11/what-em-the-jazz-singer-em-taught-me-about-hollywood-romance/281913/?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share
I’ll check it out! I’ve been rewatching old movies a lot lately-and rereading old books. It’s crazy how much the experience changes
over the years!
Can relate! (And, I love that you were also a Jazz Singer kid. Our childhoods were hilarious.)
I also watched Flash Gordon and Bergman’s Fanny & Alexander a million times. My childhood movie tastes really ran the gamut!
I watched it when I was around 12; it was in rotation on HBO and I watched it a few times. Now I want to watch it again.
I used to watch this when I was young too. Love it still. Thank you!