I have to say, this is a top post! I loled multiple times 😂
This is our first European heat wave and we’ve also been hunkering down.
Waking to see sheets and aluminium flim draped on our neighbor’s windows and skylights, resigning ourselves to vegging in front of the TV because it’s too hot to move, and only going out at night which doesn’t arrive until 23 or later.
I’m looking forward to the thunderstorms forecast to take this all away.
I mean sometimes you HAVE to throw a drink on bitches on the Upper East Side. 😂
All kidding aside this sounds horrendous, and as much as I am eager to depart this fascist hellscape, wherever I land must have both ample ice and air conditioning. 😂 Hang in there!
When I first stumbled across your Substack, I thought you were a foodie because of the little cookie thing in the title. I tuned in with low expectations and have been delighted by the relentless weirdness and aggression of your posts. I've been to Amsterdam and it's clearly a cooler place because you're there lol.
I hope the weather breaks soon.
I'm from southeast Louisiana where it routinely hits 100° f but we have AC everywhere. Arguably, too much of it. Sometimes you have to go outside to warm up!
I am so flattered. Relentless weirdness and aggression should be my epitaph. (I love New Orleans so much and I’ve thought there’s no way I could survive the summers there, but I’m pretty sure I’d hole up in the AC like a vampire all day and then go out at night and find all the fun.)
Aw, this is you at your best, making me chuckle. Thanks. Incidentally, an American rented our house in Spain this past week. It's not air conditioned because the sea breezes have always kept it cool. Not so this week. The guy complained, saying that he wouldn't have rented it if he'd known about the lack of AC. When I pointed out that the lack of AC is clearly stated on the website, he actually replied 'Well, you can't expect me to read the fine print!'
I can empathize. I grew up in the American southeast, with out A/C. We had fans. FANS do not help too much with 100+ degree heat. It is like being cooked in a convection oven. One of the things we did that seemed to help was soak sheets in the tub, wring them out, hang them by a window with a fan in it. (blowing in) Sounds crazy but it made us feel better. Good luck, be safe. ❤️
I saw a bunch of TikToks of people in the UK putting cloths in the freezer and keeping them by their beds so they can try to cool off enough to sleep. And yeah, when it's crazy hot the fans just blow hot air.
Sympathies. I’m coastal UK. Opening windows at night for airflow brought in bats, mozzies and detached every cobweb from every ceiling, so it’s like living in a ghost train. (I mentioned this on Notes, but it is my best heatwave summary so far!)
"... and you can keep sniffing them for as long as you want and even offer to let your husband smell them? Because you can."
I tip my hat at your level of weird. I hope you find whatever is the equivalent of "warehouse-sized box of ice cream sandwiches" to alleviate this heatwave!
Please stay safe in the heat. My dear friend in Berlin is suffering and it's crap to watch from over here in the US. So much crap. What's not crap? The Scots taking over Boston. And Mary Katherine Gallagher. And your newsletter, which I miss when it's been a while between posts.
We football noobs in the US had no idea the World Cup would bring so much joy to this messed up country. I'm from Boston and watching the Scots lift up my city has been my light in the darkness. I wonder how many World Cup babies will show up in 9 months after that small sea's worth of beer was consumed. Those boys know how to party.
We have AC here in Charlottesville, VA, but we're also in the middle of the worst drought since 1941.
Unrelated--the "devil's asshole" immediately sent me into Thor Ragnarok, when poor Tom Hiddleston had to say "Devil's anus" with a straight face. I've always wondered how many takes it required to get that down.
My friends in C-ville have been talking about the drought there. You all really need some rain. Omg, I saw a video of a guy in Boston talking about how much he loved having the Scots there and he said "In one year (pronounced ye-ah) I'm goin' to Scotland and I'm gonna take videos -- I'm goin' for ten fuckin' days!" His enthusiasm and delivery were soooo funny. I've watched it like 20 times. 🤣
AC is not sexy is the thing. Heat is sexy. It’s why I cannot do saunas: makes me both horny & claustrophobic which is a terrible combo. My kids had to wear Brit-Raj uniforms to school in the Emirates where starting in Late April it’s regularly 35c or hotter. But lots and lots of AC bc hey climateshmimate amirite? Not to mention fountains because water is wealth. It was like living in Dune. Good luck with the sweaty Dutchies. X
You’re my cup of iced tea! I’m in Las Vegas and it was 105 yesterday and I thought it was perfect! It’s a dry heat. 😂 Today it’s only going to be 97 and it will be sweater weather.
But last summer I was in the Mediterranean during an early summer heatwave with temps in the mid to high 90s with high humidity and I felt like I was going to die.
Vegas has all the a/c, swamp coolers, ice, ceiling fans and misters. Stores and restaurants are arctic cold all the time. It makes living in the desert 🏜️ southwest too easy.
I love your posts. Shrimp Whisker aka (Shrimpy) is my fave.
The hottest I've ever been was in Maastricht last summer during a heat wave, tied with a heat wave in a 5th floor walkup with no AC in Chinatown, NYC the summer before. And I've lived in Florida. With no AC. But Florida is built for heat, there were ceiling fans in every room in our house there. In Maastricht we were in a hotel, with no AC and no fans. Like, they aren't prepared for heat AT ALL. We also couldn't open the windows, because outside was a churning mass of mosquitoes desperate to suck our blood. I'll stay down here in Spain for summers, I think!
Isn’t it so funny that Spain summers are more tolerable than the Netherlands during a heatwave? You are right — places that regularly deal with heat are prepared for heat. The no screens on windows here cracks me up. We have mosquitos! We do!!
Weirder still, it's hotter here in Girona (by the French border) than it is in Sevilla and the south of Spain. Everything has flipped upside down and backwards. And hell yeah you have mosquitoes in the Netherlands! All that water, add heat.....
I was shocked to see screenless open windows everywhere — relatives’ homes, restaurants, etc. The bugs are definitely worse where I am in Illinois than in the Netherlands etc.
I'm with on installing a/c, it's also hot as Satan's asshole AND balls here in Switzerland and we are sweaty bodies huddling around fans. Off to a/ced Spain tomorrow - I'm looking forward to an a/c car ride and a/ced house, and the pool.
Say hello to Freddie Mercury et al for me. I'm off to imaginary Ibiza now, semi-naked in front of the fan.
Isn't it so funny that you have to escape from Switzerland to Spain because of heat, not cold? I think you, me and Freddie and his cats would have a great time in Ibiza. I'm very annoyed I didn't get to go to his 40th bday party. We can use my time portal and go together. Get your costume ready.
I hope the heatwave passes soon. Also, I love whatever is wrong with you.
Thank you -- it's good when I find my people. Xo
So do i! 🥰
I have to say, this is a top post! I loled multiple times 😂
This is our first European heat wave and we’ve also been hunkering down.
Waking to see sheets and aluminium flim draped on our neighbor’s windows and skylights, resigning ourselves to vegging in front of the TV because it’s too hot to move, and only going out at night which doesn’t arrive until 23 or later.
I’m looking forward to the thunderstorms forecast to take this all away.
Hang in there — it’s a brutal situation but thankfully we’re nearly through it. I’m also excited for the rain.
I mean sometimes you HAVE to throw a drink on bitches on the Upper East Side. 😂
All kidding aside this sounds horrendous, and as much as I am eager to depart this fascist hellscape, wherever I land must have both ample ice and air conditioning. 😂 Hang in there!
Throwing a drink on some WASPY bitches is sometimes required. Not everyone knows this, but some of us do. 💫
When I first stumbled across your Substack, I thought you were a foodie because of the little cookie thing in the title. I tuned in with low expectations and have been delighted by the relentless weirdness and aggression of your posts. I've been to Amsterdam and it's clearly a cooler place because you're there lol.
I hope the weather breaks soon.
I'm from southeast Louisiana where it routinely hits 100° f but we have AC everywhere. Arguably, too much of it. Sometimes you have to go outside to warm up!
I am so flattered. Relentless weirdness and aggression should be my epitaph. (I love New Orleans so much and I’ve thought there’s no way I could survive the summers there, but I’m pretty sure I’d hole up in the AC like a vampire all day and then go out at night and find all the fun.)
Ha! I think that's why all the vampires live here. You nailed it! Love your posts.
My mother called this 'pikstaanderig weer'. Help yourself to the Dutch dictionary 😆
Oh my god!!! This is now my new favorite Dutch phrase! Thank you 🙏
😂 You're welcome!
Aw, this is you at your best, making me chuckle. Thanks. Incidentally, an American rented our house in Spain this past week. It's not air conditioned because the sea breezes have always kept it cool. Not so this week. The guy complained, saying that he wouldn't have rented it if he'd known about the lack of AC. When I pointed out that the lack of AC is clearly stated on the website, he actually replied 'Well, you can't expect me to read the fine print!'
That is so funny. OMG, people are hilarious.
I can empathize. I grew up in the American southeast, with out A/C. We had fans. FANS do not help too much with 100+ degree heat. It is like being cooked in a convection oven. One of the things we did that seemed to help was soak sheets in the tub, wring them out, hang them by a window with a fan in it. (blowing in) Sounds crazy but it made us feel better. Good luck, be safe. ❤️
I saw a bunch of TikToks of people in the UK putting cloths in the freezer and keeping them by their beds so they can try to cool off enough to sleep. And yeah, when it's crazy hot the fans just blow hot air.
Sympathies. I’m coastal UK. Opening windows at night for airflow brought in bats, mozzies and detached every cobweb from every ceiling, so it’s like living in a ghost train. (I mentioned this on Notes, but it is my best heatwave summary so far!)
Living on a ghost train. Love this.
Berlin is also scrotally hot right now, but hey, some oil piggos got rich fucking up the planet, so isn’t that awesome for them.
I hate the oil piggos fucking the planet. Hang in there. Solidarity
Thank you sister :) you too 💜
"... and you can keep sniffing them for as long as you want and even offer to let your husband smell them? Because you can."
I tip my hat at your level of weird. I hope you find whatever is the equivalent of "warehouse-sized box of ice cream sandwiches" to alleviate this heatwave!
That’s a solid marriage
haha thank you. 🤣
Please stay safe in the heat. My dear friend in Berlin is suffering and it's crap to watch from over here in the US. So much crap. What's not crap? The Scots taking over Boston. And Mary Katherine Gallagher. And your newsletter, which I miss when it's been a while between posts.
We football noobs in the US had no idea the World Cup would bring so much joy to this messed up country. I'm from Boston and watching the Scots lift up my city has been my light in the darkness. I wonder how many World Cup babies will show up in 9 months after that small sea's worth of beer was consumed. Those boys know how to party.
We have AC here in Charlottesville, VA, but we're also in the middle of the worst drought since 1941.
Unrelated--the "devil's asshole" immediately sent me into Thor Ragnarok, when poor Tom Hiddleston had to say "Devil's anus" with a straight face. I've always wondered how many takes it required to get that down.
My friends in C-ville have been talking about the drought there. You all really need some rain. Omg, I saw a video of a guy in Boston talking about how much he loved having the Scots there and he said "In one year (pronounced ye-ah) I'm goin' to Scotland and I'm gonna take videos -- I'm goin' for ten fuckin' days!" His enthusiasm and delivery were soooo funny. I've watched it like 20 times. 🤣
AC is not sexy is the thing. Heat is sexy. It’s why I cannot do saunas: makes me both horny & claustrophobic which is a terrible combo. My kids had to wear Brit-Raj uniforms to school in the Emirates where starting in Late April it’s regularly 35c or hotter. But lots and lots of AC bc hey climateshmimate amirite? Not to mention fountains because water is wealth. It was like living in Dune. Good luck with the sweaty Dutchies. X
The heat is so horny it’s ridiculous. Horny but also violently angry.
I regularly refer to the heat where I live as abusive.
You’re my cup of iced tea! I’m in Las Vegas and it was 105 yesterday and I thought it was perfect! It’s a dry heat. 😂 Today it’s only going to be 97 and it will be sweater weather.
But last summer I was in the Mediterranean during an early summer heatwave with temps in the mid to high 90s with high humidity and I felt like I was going to die.
Vegas has all the a/c, swamp coolers, ice, ceiling fans and misters. Stores and restaurants are arctic cold all the time. It makes living in the desert 🏜️ southwest too easy.
I love your posts. Shrimp Whisker aka (Shrimpy) is my fave.
I guess you mostly stay inside in Vegas?
I’m in the outside pool every afternoon and I love it!!
that’s awesome
Oof, all of this. 🥵 definitely losing it here in Paris.
I feel so bad for France. I mean it’s catastrophic. Hang in there. ❤️
The hottest I've ever been was in Maastricht last summer during a heat wave, tied with a heat wave in a 5th floor walkup with no AC in Chinatown, NYC the summer before. And I've lived in Florida. With no AC. But Florida is built for heat, there were ceiling fans in every room in our house there. In Maastricht we were in a hotel, with no AC and no fans. Like, they aren't prepared for heat AT ALL. We also couldn't open the windows, because outside was a churning mass of mosquitoes desperate to suck our blood. I'll stay down here in Spain for summers, I think!
Isn’t it so funny that Spain summers are more tolerable than the Netherlands during a heatwave? You are right — places that regularly deal with heat are prepared for heat. The no screens on windows here cracks me up. We have mosquitos! We do!!
Weirder still, it's hotter here in Girona (by the French border) than it is in Sevilla and the south of Spain. Everything has flipped upside down and backwards. And hell yeah you have mosquitoes in the Netherlands! All that water, add heat.....
I was shocked to see screenless open windows everywhere — relatives’ homes, restaurants, etc. The bugs are definitely worse where I am in Illinois than in the Netherlands etc.
I'm with on installing a/c, it's also hot as Satan's asshole AND balls here in Switzerland and we are sweaty bodies huddling around fans. Off to a/ced Spain tomorrow - I'm looking forward to an a/c car ride and a/ced house, and the pool.
Say hello to Freddie Mercury et al for me. I'm off to imaginary Ibiza now, semi-naked in front of the fan.
Sweaty hugs,
Cesca xx
Isn't it so funny that you have to escape from Switzerland to Spain because of heat, not cold? I think you, me and Freddie and his cats would have a great time in Ibiza. I'm very annoyed I didn't get to go to his 40th bday party. We can use my time portal and go together. Get your costume ready.
It’s upside down for sure🙃 I’m hoping to time travel again soon so we can go together. Who shall we visit?